Pondering the Pavement

September 3, 2015

Love Lives

Filed under: Inspirational,life after death,mediumship — cfilius @ 4:59 pm
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26480429_s“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” — Mother Teresa

I am the first to admit I have a lot of odd idiosyncrasies. No shock there, right? I cannot pour milk over my bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats until I turn all of the little morsels frosting-side-up. I hate bare walls. Always have. So I have framed pieces of art and photographs plastered all over mine. What’s so weird about that? They must be exactly 72” from the floor. And, for the record, they’re equidistantly spaced. I tend to have a wee bit of an obsession with order. Yet, whenever I am working on a book, whether writing or illustrating, I never, EVER, work in sequence. I’m a walking paradox, yet I have no boat, let alone two. (Think about that one and get back to me…) Upon reflection, each and every one of those peculiarities makes my talking to the dead seem pretty gosh-darn normal.

One item from my collection of quirks does tend to leap out off the psychiatrist’s pad, though. Every night, when I first go to bed, I always say, “I love you” aloud. No idea why, really. I don’t know why it started or how. I’m not even sure when. It’s just there. I don’t even have a clue as to whom I’m saying it. I could be saying it to God or Spirit, depending on your preferred terminology. Perhaps I’m saying it to a lover, past, present and/or future. Maybe I’m saying it to myself. No clue. Yet, every night, as my head and pillow become one, I blurt it out. No rhyme or reason, yet it feels out of place if I don’t.

Those three little words can have a massive impact, especially if whispered at the right time. Those words can ring through long corridors in your mind for decades. My dear friend, Leigh, and I always ended every conversation with those words. And, of course, when we were together, we did not go to bed without saying them just one more time. So, I can take great comfort and joy in the fact that our last words to one another, just one lone week before her abrupt passing, were “I love you.”

My beloved Aunt Ruth’s last act of coherence, just before she slipped away nearly a year ago, was telling each of us sitting with her those same magical words. Trust me when I tell you that is a moment in time that her son, daughter-in-law, sister and slightly anal-retentive nephew will never forget. And, of course, we returned those very same words in kind. You can’t ask for a whole lot more, you know?

To this day, some thirty-odd years later, I can still vividly recall the euphoria of exchanging those words with my first real girlfriend for the very first time. Giddiness isn’t the same without a big goofy grin implanted on your face for days on end, you know? I hope she can still reflect back on that time with the same soft-hearted mindset as I do. However, she’s pretty old now and probably senile. (God, I hope Dar’s not reading this…with her trifocals. Oh, yeah, I’m a dead man now!)

Of course, keep in mind I offer those same three words to a wide variety of people in my life: the waitress who brings me cheesecake, the pizza delivery guy, anyone who gives me cookies (unless they contain raisins or coconut). The list is quite long. Hell, I propose marriage to anyone who pulls their car out of a spot so I can park there. I just toss those ‘I love you’s’ around all willy-nilly like fertilizer. There’s an image for you. Of course, if you think about it, that reflection is quite right. Sharing an ‘I love you’ in hopes it will take root and flourish, spreading like wild flowers in the wind. Makes sense to me. But, then again, so does hanging things on a wall exactly six feet from the floorboards. I’m not really a good gauge for some things.

There are two things I truly adore when connecting with the energy of someone who has crossed over to the other side. The first is whenever they embarrass the sitter. Yes, I said it. I get the biggest kick out of it. They will, with great regularity, bring up some hysterically funny incident that the sitter (almost) wishes time would forget. The look of shock followed by red-faced embarrassment is priceless. But what REALLY puts the icing on the cake is the smile that follows. A smile of recollection, reconnection and reassurance. Of course, the dead guy gets the biggest laugh out of it. I mean, seriously, what are you going to do to ‘em? They’re dead for cryin’ out loud!

The second item on my two-item list is the insistence of the love between the one in spirit and the one sitting before me. Sure, when you get a message, you expect the classic, “I love you”. It’s a nearly worn out cliché. In all honesty, this Universal Message never gets old. Each of you knows it so why roll your eyes and deny it? Each and every Spirit that comes through is doing so out of love for you. Whether they say, “I love you!” or if they discuss the latest remodeling of your kitchen. Their very presence in your life, both then and now, is out of love. Eat your heart out, Hallmark. While you insist on a lone day in February, Spirit offers it 24/7 for a full 365. Hell of a marketing campaign if you ask me.

Oh, yeah, I hear you. “How is talking about my kitchen a sign of love?” Simple, ya big doofus. By talking about your kitchen they’re telling you that they are still active in your life. They are letting you know that they’re there for the big and the mundane, the highs and the lows, and everything else in-between, just as in their physical life. Some say “I love you” in different ways. Words, actions, thoughts… most commonly it’s a combination of those and more. A peck on the cheek, a tousle of your hair, a hug, a spin across the dance floor, preparing your favorite meal… the list goes on and on.

How do YOU let someone know you love them? Hmm? How do YOU let others know you care? Take a moment and think about it. For example, my uncle and I merely had to shake hands while placing our free hand on the shoulder of the other. That’s all we needed. He’s been gone now for 30 years and, let me tell you, I still miss those handshakes from time to time. There was so much wrapped in those simple actions. It was a genuine fondness, friendship and love. I know he’s still with me—that won’t change—but, every now and again, the physical side longs for what was. And that’s perfectly normal. You can’t risk losing the connection to your physical side, even the part that brings up tears. It’s all connected so allow it to flow. What is sad today can lead to happiness tomorrow.

The love of, and for, your loved ones is still with you. Why? Because THEY are still with you. Sure, it’s not the way we prefer or are even accustomed to, but they’re still with us. Love does not die, love does not fade or go away. It lives, it thrives and it never asks why. I’ll remember that the next time someone brings me a slab of cheesecake.

I would love to exchange an ‘I love you’ with Leigh again. I would cherish hearing Aunt Ruth say, “I love you, honey” just once more. I’d like the chance to tell Dar that I love her, for the sake of honoring the moment that was, without her slapping me in the back of the head with her trifocals. And, I can—and do—each night when I go to bed. I release those positive words into the ethers knowing they will, somehow, find their way to the souls who need it most, myself included.

In case you don’t hear it tonight, I love you.

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones

Copyright © 2015, Charles A. Filius

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